


Alone with Oneself

by radovanryn



Category: Kingdom Hearts
Genre: M/M, Master Isa AU
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-22
Updated: 2019-07-22
Packaged: 2020-07-11 13:31:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,171
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19928854
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/radovanryn/pseuds/radovanryn
Summary: Lea wakes up in Radiant Garden. Ten years of nonexistence, and now his emotions threaten to overwhelm him. His heart aches as the same thought repeats itself: where is Isa? [Master Isa AU]





	Alone with Oneself

**Author's Note:**

> Inspired by [@saixbosom’s](https://twitter.com/saixbosom) phenomenal [Master Isa AU](https://twitter.com/i/moments/1149722968789929984). If you haven’t seen it yet, trust me, you are missing out, and you should rectify that immediately. I haven’t written anything for any fandom in at least five years, but I couldn’t get this idea out of my head. Many thanks to [@saixbosom](https://twitter.com/saixbosom) for sharing this wonderful AU with us and allowing people to play with it. Hope you all appreciate my contribution to the angst fest. ;)

_“Roxas?”_

Fading had been slow and painful, however his return to consciousness was abrupt. Axel quickly picked himself up from the floor, frantic as he scanned the room for… __he could have sworn he was just talking to…__

Sluggishly, the memories returned. His side ached where Isa’s keyblade had torn into him, Kairi’s eyes wide with horror as his body bled darkness. He didn’t want to hurt the princess, he just wanted his _friend_ back. After Isa—after Isa _left him_ , he swore no one would leave him behind ever again.

 _Oh,_ but Isa must truly hate him. Why else would he return only to steal the only one he’d liked, _the one who made him feel like he had a heart again_?

His chest hurt. 

His… chest hurt. 

Axel caught sight of his reflection in one of the windows overlooking the labs far below. _The labs…_ was he in the castle? Shocked, but unused to the feeling, he set trembling fingers on his unmarred cheek. His reflection did the same, green ( _green?_ ) eyes wide. 

“I’m a person again,” Axel—no, _Lea_ , he must be, right?—whispered. The ache in his chest, it _pounded_. His heart. It was so loud, his pulse. He’d forgotten what that felt like. 

It almost pained him to look away, but Lea ( _Axel_ ) was an assassin. He needed to get his bearings, see if there were any threats. Four bodies lay prone nearby: Dilan, Even, Aeleus, Ienzo. Breathing, but still unconscious. _Recompleted_ , like Lea. 

“He did it,” Lea said quietly; more memories now, and he wasn’t sure if he could face Even and Ienzo yet. _Guilt?_ Still, he felt his lips curve into a small smile. “Xemnas, he did it. Returned our hearts.” Lea had never understood why the keyblade wielders, why _Isa_ tried so hard to prevent the Organization from completing their Kingdom Hearts. Why wouldn’t they— _he_ —want them to be whole again? Tears prickled Lea’s eyes at the memory of Roxas, confused and alone just as Axel had once been, nodding absently as Axel explained why he needed to collect hearts.

 _We have to complete the great Kingdom Hearts._ Unhampered by any charms, the tears slid down his cheeks. “It wasn’t for nothing, then.” Lea missed his friend so much, but at least he could take solace in the knowledge that Roxas’ work, his sacrifice, had not been in vain.

But… a thought struck him. Demyx, Luxord, Marluxia, and Larxene were nowhere to be seen. Xemnas, or rather _Xehanort_ , was missing as well.

“We’re people again,” he said to himself, “but only the ones who joined the Organization here. I guess Xehanort doesn’t count.” More memories, still terrifying despite the intervening years. Lea felt his breathing quicken as he was assaulted by visions of what happened to him in this room: a black corridor, sudden cold at his neck and hand as Isa disappeared, agony and tearing loss. A low voice somehow audible over the sound of his own screams. _You are special. I will give you purpose. Hearts shall never again have power over us._

Unwittingly, Lea’s hand ( _which Isa once held_ ) rose to grasp his throat in a loose hold. More tears, more memories. Green eyes wide yet unseeing, Lea heard Isa’s voice, heard _his name_ cried out in two different registers, a frightened teenager overlaid by that of a desperate man. _Lea, come with me! Lea, please. Lea…_

Didn’t Isa hate him, though? Despite his weak grip, Lea felt choked. Anger—yes even Axel felt _that_ —warred with grief in his fragile heart. Wasn’t that why he’d always sought Isa out, laughed and taunted and _hurt_ him until his eyes flashed gold ( _like his_ ) and his pleas were reduced to growls? Rage was all Axel and Isa had in common, but now… _but now…_

Lea’s grief overpowered his anger. His heart ( _he had a heart again_ ) longed for Isa. He wanted Isa to hold him, to soothe him, to wipe away his tears. To kiss him. _He had a heart again_ , and it wanted Isa. So, why wasn’t Isa with him? Those damn keyblades always seemed to guide their wielders to the wrong ( _right_ ) place at the wrong ( _right_ ) time, so why hadn’t Isa’s led him back to Lea? _Please, come home with me…_

“Where are you, Isa?” he asked. A harsh laugh broke the eerie quiet, and with his heart caught in his throat Lea spun around to see Xigbar— _Braig_ —standing near the main console in his castle uniform. He was not alone, either. 

“You really think blueberry’s gonna come for you after you messed up that pretty face of his? As if!” Lea flinched, remembering that, too. Xemnas had taught him to use the mark as a sigil to track Isa’s location. And to Axel, it gave them something more in common; a reminder of broken promises etched into their skin. Unaffected by the fresh tears on Lea’s face, Braig added, “But hey, we’re here, and that’s what counts. The party’s already begun, huh?” Braig’s smile was hardly friendly, however Lea’s breaking heart found comfort in it nonetheless. After all, Braig was right wasn’t he? _Isa hated him, would never forgive him, had already replaced him…_

“Time is of the essence.” The stranger’s voice was low and oddly resonant, his golden eyes the exact shade Lea ( _Axel_ ) had come to think of as his own. The air around his right hand shimmered before a familiar keyblade took form. The tears slowed as dread began to fill Lea’s pounding heart. _Where are you, Isa? I’m sorry I’m sorry I’m sorry please…_

Braig scoffed. “Whatever. I got my hands full with my own plans. Let’s get this over with.” Shock weighed Lea down, Braig’s hands like iron weights on his shoulders as he led Lea towards the young golden-eyed man and his glinting black keyblade. Lea struggled weakly, calling out for _Isa_ one last time. Braig laughed and leaned in to whisper, “Told you already, _flamesilocks_. He’s not coming for you. He’s forgotten all about you.” 

Anger, again. Lea, _Axel_ was the same pitiable fool Xemnas had accused him of being. It was just as his Superior had always told him: Isa abandoned him. Isa fought him. _Isa forgot him_. 

“You are destined for something far greater,” the stranger solemnly intoned. “Your heart is a burden that will keep you from your true purpose.” 

Fire crackled across Lea’s frame, startling Braig into releasing him. Yet he did not run, made no move to escape. Lea met the stranger’s gaze as the keyblade was lifted to his chest. Rage consumed him inside and out even as Lea realized the truth of the stranger’s words. Lea, no, _Axel_ did not need his heart. He did not need such weakness to achieve his goals. He would get Roxas back. He’d even bring _her_ home. And he would make Isa _pay_ for what he’d done. 

The keyblade struck. Agony. Darkness. Fading, again, and a final promise: _Won’t forget this, Isa. Got it memorized?_

**Author's Note:**

> The scene I wanted to think through here was post-KH2 Axel joining the real Organization XIII within the Master Isa AU. I borrowed and/or reworked some dialogue from 358/2, DDD, and Re:Coded as well as elements from a few of the comics [@saixbosom](https://twitter.com/saixbosom) has created for this AU. Here, I imagine Isa played a very similar role to Riku in KH2, and somehow ended up in the realm of darkness for a bit before returning to the realm of light. This scene takes place during that time, hence why Isa was not there when Lea woke. Also, I tried to reframe how Lea/Axel regarded Xemnas in this ‘verse as trusting bordering on Stockholm Syndrome. Axel still left the Organization after Roxas disappeared, but he did not spend ten years plotting with Saix to overthrow Xemnas either. In any case, I hope you all enjoyed this small contribution! Thanks again for the wonderful AU playground, [@saixbosom](https://twitter.com/saixbosom)


End file.
